2012-The reservoir is still in the process of freezing up, there are still open spots of chocolate water. A five inch snowfall, freezing temperatures, shoveling walks, scraping windshields, shrinking back into the blackest parts of body and soul-yup, it’s definitely winter. If something’s incubating it doesn’t feel like anything you would want to see born.
2013-Away from home and my routines, I become aware of how intricate, repetitive and grounding they are; all the little details that make up a day and anchor a personality. New routines, new person? Not quite that but an irritating suspicion that my ordinary state may be one of more self induced numbness than I care to admit. Even joy can feel like a kind of unwelcome disturbance to that self regulated ‘comfort‘.
I have been using this extra time to explore new and more meditation. At the end of one session, sitting quietly with eyes closed, I had a strong sense that I could open my eyes and look into a mirror and see any face, accept that face as mine, and continue on, reacting to whatever the realities of that particular life.
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