2010-When I return from a weekend away the last of the hummingbirds and the small flocks of monarchs we had this year are gone. There’s one last florescence on the butterfly bush in case a stray one comes through late. The crows and the jays are raucously making the gathering silence even more so. Many trees have yellowed though they will be nowhere near peak this weekend, Columbus Day. There’s very little red as yet though the forsythia have branches in a lovely shade of maroon that looks very dramatic against the bright yellow of the re-blooms. I did see a flock of geese flying south in New Jersey though around here they seem to stay put.
Wait-I was wrong! As soon as the sun and some warmth returned, I saw the monarchs again flitting about the purple asters and the golden rod in the meadow. I cannot tell if they are new ones passing through on the journey to Mexico or locals lingering on. It is fascinating to learn that the males can be distinguished by “tiny scent sacs that bulge on the veins of the lower wings.” I can’t wait for a chance to get close enough to see.
2011-Already two nights of frost and the houseplants are brought inside though the forecast for the weekend is bright, sunny, and much warmer days and nights.
I took a workshop in plant spirit medicine with a man well known in those circles. I was hungry to spend time with people who take such things seriously. I liked him very much, especially when he pointed out that all plants are fully conscious. (Though I was disturbed a night later to hear a man on the radio who impressed me the same way with his thoughtful, quiet and honest manner. That man specialized in casting out demons.) I thought I’d gone with specific questions about my attempts to connect with the fern and apple tree but realized that I already do what he does and am on the right path. The obstacle is my resistance to giving up my current world view that does not allow for such things. Here I have removed myself from so much and created so much free time and energy yet have trouble crossing that last barrier.
Then while I was meditating the other morning I was shocked out of it by the dull thud of a bird hitting the window. I came outside to find a catbird on the deck lying wing all askew and looking broken but still alive. All I could think of to do for it was be with it, so squatting down I closed my eyes and tried to get back into a meditative place and just be with it while it died. A few minutes later I opened my eyes and was surprised to see that it had folded its wing nicely into place and was sitting up. I left it alone thinking my presence was more disturbing than helpful at that point and checked on it every few minutes for the next half hour or so as it sat there quietly. Then it was gone. The interesting part of this comes in the feelings I had when I let myself think that my presence had helped heal it. I have seen birds before stunned in this way but just needing a little time to recover before flying off so I argued with myself that that was the case here. But this bird’s wing had looked broken. So back and forth and the crux of this is the same shift I am having trouble making into opening to plant spirit. It is so easy to dismiss this and then the next day while I was sitting there knitting I noticed a praying mantis had landed on the chair alongside me. I stopped to watch it and it proceeded to walk up my leg, onto my arm and up to my face where it sat inches away exchanging deep looks with me. Eventually it wandered off. I so want to believe that these things are trying to reach me.
(The next day I picked up Pam Montgomery’s Plant Spirit Healing that I had ordered through the library and was startled to realize that the altered image of Lady’s Mantle on the cover looked exactly like the praying mantis!)
Last night I dreamed of snakes. I saw a tiny one and as I went to pick it up I saw that what I thought was a small snake was really just the head of a huge one. Then I saw that there were three-small, medium and large. While still basically asleep I interpreted this to mean that while I thought that these plant spirit efforts were small, they would lead to something very big/important. Reading the book this morning there was a whole chapter on the importance of three’s.
2012- Down to forty at night but it looks like we will escape frost for at least ten more days. I brought the plants in to be safe and give them time to settle. Cut open a raw milk cheddar and was very happy with it, though initially I thought I sensed an off, almost moldy, taste. It dissipated at room temperature. It’s very trying to invest time-six months- and then risk having it come to nothing. Failure of any of my projects makes me feel like ‘a failure’. It doesn’t take much for me to sink to that place. Need to remind myself that it is all a learning process.
Getting ready for what I hope will be the last mowing of the season. Yay!
2013-This year the purples are claiming my eyes. Is it because their direct complementary-all kinds of gold and yellow-are so intense right now?
Yes...that's how it goes...
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