2010-It is time to come to terms with the end of summer. These days, 90 degrees as they might be, are not July. There is a sere quality to the landscape and the smell--the smell of ripeness, almost of something cooking. The smell of dying. The days are shortening with alarming speed. The end of summer seems abrupt to me, but that is the product of living a school year for so long. In reality there is no abrupt end but just the gradual day by day changes. I try to let myself relax into them, into appreciation of them and allow myself to discover there is no impending horror (the fear bred out of dislocated memories of endless seeming frigid winters and forced labor). This anxiety is learned and it is time to teach myself some new tricks.
2012-For the first time I am not suffering from pre-school dread. I am open to the possibility that fall may turn out to be the best season of all-the plentitude of harvest, bracing pleasant weather, and the energy to enjoy it. Someone mentions ‘the calendar of nature’ in reference to the changing activities of birds as they prepare for migration. Isn’t that what I am trying to learn to follow?
2013- I’ve been seeing a praying mantis around the place for a couple of days, and yesterday I watched it eat another insect alive, starting from the head. Preying, indeed.
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